an attempt at reflection

Someone suggested I try a blog as a way of reflecting on my youth work practice as I struggle to reflect in other ways. So I thought I'd give it a try. I may reflect on other stuff from family life to church planting.. feel free to follow, join in or just have a nosey now and again.

It took a long time for me to accept that I was meant for youth work. I felt God calling me to youth work on occasions throughout my teens but resisted, I can't say why I resisted but I suppose I never saw myself as a youth worker or never saw myself capable. Though I was involved in some kind of youth work since the age of 16 I never embraced the idea of really being a youth worker wholeheartedly. It was when I gave in and took a paid job working for 'The Gap Project' in East London, where I was given the opportunity to flourish in an encouraging environment, that I realised I could actually do it.

So now, 7 years after starting at Gap and almost 20 (eek!) after first dipping my toes in, I find myself developing youth work from scratch on the inner city estate where I live - where I also grew up. After being back in Newton Heath for 5 and a half years we are now at the stage of being in a position to see things grow (and mushroom?). For a long time, though the vision and the hope were there, I struggled to believe we could see things happen on the estate. I suppose this was not just a matter of believing that such entrenched ways of life and culture could change but a lack of belief in myself that I could be involved in that transformation. Obviously, I believe that God is the author and it is He who chooses to use us and His spirit that leads, guides and breathes life - maybe I lacked the belief that He would choose to use me?

But He has chosen to use me and is using me and this week I have been in a situation where I know the outcome would not have been as it was had I not been involved.

I don't want to do long rambling blogs so I will stop for now and elaborate on the above in the next installement.